Loosing a Friend

Its been pretty much 2 years since I moved to Casper.  I can’t believe it, 2 years.  In the scheme of things that’s really not that long but I never did picture myself here in the first place.  As I write this I am balling my eyes out.  I seem so unhappy right now.  Last Sunday I finally broke off my relationship with Jay.  As much as it will hopefully be better in the long run I still lost my best friend, one of the only reason why the last 2 years we fun here in Casper.  I really wished things would have worked out between the two of us but it just didn’t seem right.  I will truly miss having that person who I could trust and that knew me so well. Jay is a kind, gentle, sweet guy but for some reason he really only seems to me as a friend not my boyfriend, husband, partner I wanted to be.  I desperately hoped there was more but couldn’t keep fooling myself; that’s why I held on for so long.  I have no hard feelings angriness or hatred towards Jay I just didn’t want us to keep living in a relationship I felt was not going anywhere.

 I know this is pretty deep and intimate but if you, Jay. do read this I’m so sorry and wish that someday we could be truly friends because that is what I so badly need here in Casper.  I also think about the last time I became single I was so wanting to be in a relationship again and knowing the loneliness that accompanies being single.  I think about how I am 28 yrs old and would like someday to have children.  I really cant imagine myself with any but who knows. I have always been a pretty independent person and tried not depending on others to help me but I do greatly appreciate the help.

Moving home sounds better each day, but I don’t know if that necessarily will solve my problems.  What I truly need is to be happy with myself, and I don’t believe living here in Casper or Fort Collins or anywhere else is going to help that.  So as I finish writing this I’m trying to think about what will make me happier and at this time I have no clue.

A Really Bad Music Cover

Jay listens to different music and I have to grind my teeth through it all, but on our South Dakota Trip we heard the worst cover of "You Shook Me All Night"  and I felt impelled to actually record it.  The band is Six Feet Under.

Tiny Tight Spaces

While waiting on the Jewel Cave Discovery Tour to start, there is a small block in the entrance area that represented the tightest portion of the Wild Caving Tour. All participants are required to pass through the 8-1/2 inch by 24-inch crawl space before beginning tour in order to know they can make it. So Jay and I tried to fit through the tiny tight space. Obviously we did not take that tour J (ooh and I probably be really closterphobic) Enjoy!

Becoming More of a Patriotic American

This last weekend Jay and I went to South Dakota. Yep, South Dakota. It was pretty great I feel closer to being a more patriotic American because of it. I have always wanted to see Mount Rushmore and the Devil’s Tower (still in Wyoming on the way to South Dakota). It was a pretty drive this fall and I got to see many of the wonders of the USA.

First we went to the Devil’s Tower in Northern Wyoming. It was pretty spectacular how this column tower just protrudes out of the ground. I guess it was a result of volcanic activity.

The History & Legends of the Devil’s Tower:

Devils Tower is a monolithic igneous intrusion or volcanic neck. It rises dramatically 1,267 feet above the surrounding terrain and the summit is 5,112 feet above sea level. Devils Tower was the first declared United States National Monument, established on September 24, 1906, by President Theodore Roosevelt.

There are many different native American legends about the tower but my favorite one is this:

“According to the Native American tribes of the Kiowa and Lakota Sioux, some girls went out to play and were spotted by several giant bears, who began to chase them. In an effort to escape the bears, the girls climbed atop a rock, fell to their knees, and prayed to the Great Spirit to save them. Hearing their prayers, the Great Spirit made the rock rise from the ground towards the heavens so that the bears could not reach the girls. The bears, in an effort to climb the rock, left deep claw marks in the sides, which had become too steep to climb. (Those are the marks which appear today on the sides of Devils Tower.) When the girls reached the sky, they were turned into the star constellation the Pleiades.”

After Devils Tower we headed towards Deadwood, I have always heard so much about Deadwood and how great it is so we’d though it would be nice to stay there for the night. First we got a hotel and the Franklin Silverado which was right downtown. Let me just say it was really nice down stairs but after we got upstairs and we in our $120 a night crap of a room that had multiple alive and dead wasps flying around it we decided to go some place else. Yeah, wasps! So we ended up at the Iron Horse Inn that was just a couple blocks away we had to pay a little more but we didn’t have any wasps here! After we got settled, we went to dinner and then did some gambling. And I mean minimual I think I only spent $30 on gambling. I have too hard of time loosing my hard earned money so we ended up drinking and I got pretty tipsy and tired then we ended up going back to the room and passed out J.

The next morning we headed towards Mount Rushmore, which again was a pretty drive. I feel more of an American now that I have seen Mouth Rushmore. I was kind of surprise how small it was from a distance (except it is Hugh!) As one of Jay’s friends said it was pretty boring but it is something everyone needs to see.

History of Mount Rushmore:

Mount Rushmore features 60-foot (18 m) sculptures of the heads of former United States presidents (in order from left to right) George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln. The entire memorial covers 1,278.45 acres and is 5,725 feet above sea level.

“South Dakota historian Doane Robinson is credited with conceiving the idea of carving the likenesses of famous people into the Black Hills region of South Dakota in order to promote tourism in the region. Robinson's initial idea was to sculpt the Needles; however, Gutzon Borglum rejected the Needles site and chose the larger Mount Rushmore. Borglum also decided the sculpture should have a more national focus, and chose the four presidents whose likenesses would be carved into the mountain. After securing federal funding, construction on the memorial began in 1927, and the presidents' faces were completed between 1934 and 1939. Upon Gutzon Borglum's death in March 1941, his son Lincoln Borglum took over construction. Although the initial concept called for each president to be depicted from head to waist, lack of funding forced construction to end in October 1941.”

After our brief visit to Mount Rushmore, we headed to the Jewel Cave. Which I guess is the 2^nd longest cave in the world. Yep in South Dakota. I was very pretty in the cave but I must be more closterphobic then I think because I had this pressure on my chest and hard time breathing at times now there.

History of Jewel Cave:

Frank and Albert Michaud, two local prospectors, discovered the cave in 1900, when they felt cold air blowing out of a small hole in a canyon. It is unknown whether any previous inhabitants of the area were aware of the natural cave opening, which was not large enough for a person to enter.

After enlarging the cave entrance with dynamite, the Michauds found a cavern lined with calcite crystals, which led them to name it "Jewel Cave." The brothers tried to capitalize on the discovery, widening the opening, building walkways inside, and opening it to tourists. Although their venture was unsuccessful, news of the discovery eventually reached Washington. President Theodore Roosevelt proclaimed Jewel Cave a National Monument on February 7, 1908.

After the wonders of Jewel Cave we were going to stay in the Black Hills area one more night but then decided to save some money and head home which was only a 4 hour drive back to Casper.

It was a great little mini vacation and got to learn more about American (and Indian) heritage then I knew before. I also got a Passport to the National Parks, where each place you visit you can get a ‘cancelation’ and stamp of each place. So now I’m excited to go other places in the US and fill up my passport.

Things I learned:

Black Hills South Dakota was actually pretty cool and a lot of history.

I am more of an American now J.

I love experiencing time with Jay outside of Casper.

I like going on these mini vacations, which surprising cost more money than they should.

Theodore Roosevelt must love this area of the USA since he made each of these places a memorial, monument or park.

Colorado Trip!

At the beginning of August Jay and I went on a week-long camping, mountain experience in Colorado. I got to see many places in Colorado that I didn’t know existed and go to places that I have always wanted to go. The trip began outside Keystone/Montezuma area and ended in Estes Park. We traveled over high mountain passes, ritz towns, wedding, hotsprings, multiple Starbuck trips, mine/mill adventures and other wonders in Colorado.

I think the highest we gotten was like 13110 in a vehicle and then hiked to about 13200 (got to see mountain goats)… And a day of off-road rough driving we did some fishing and hung out in Breckenridge.

After Breckenridge, then through Fairplay over Weston pass and ended up in Leadville, after spending 2 days in the Leadville area at Turquoise Lake and another day camping at the base of Mt Elbert (Highest Peak in Colorado). We were going to hike a 14er but I didn’t think was in good enough shape. Experiencing the Champion Mill on Colorado... which is one of the largest mines in Colorado that operated up to 1940s.

We then decided that camping every night and sleeping on an air mattress was getting tiring so we decided to go to Glenwood Springs before my cousins wedding. After a long drive over Independence pass and dodging the hundreds of bicyclists that though it was a great idea to drive up the narrow, windy road with vehicles up the pass. After a quick lunch in Aspen (still like I remembered when I was younger) we were on the way to the Hotel Colorado in Glenwood Springs where we got to soak in the hot springs. And were able to take a shower in!!

The next morning, we decided to hike the Hanging Lake Trail. I have always wanted to hike up to this lake and since we were in the area it was good plan. EXCEPT it was the most popular trail I have ever hiked there were people everywhere and there was lots of stopping to let people by. This trail was pretty rough with rocks and large steps and there were lots of people there with little babies that made me a little concerned. Once we actually gotten to the top the small lake was beautiful, I only wished that we were the only ones there not the other 40 people standing around the lake.

Next was my cousins wedding for 2 days that was a fun time spending with my family and seeing people I normally don’t get to see. The wedding was beautiful and was great to spend time with my family J

Afterwards we decided to start to head north and ended up going to Rocky Mountain National Park, in Estes Park. Where again I felt like cattle being herded through out the park. Now it is beautiful…. but it looked just like everywhere else in Colorado. I could understand how people who don’t normally see mountains and the majestic views could find it beautiful but I just didn’t like all the people. Next, we though it would be good to try and stay at the Stanley Hotel, but without making reservations it was booked and a $250 a night rate, hopefully in the future... It must have been a popular weekend because we ended up staying at some dinking hotel that I was afraid was going to give me bedbugs for $110 a night which was totally NOT worth it. The next morning we went back to the Stanley and walked around and took pictures.

Both exhausted from our Colorado trip we decided to go home and rest. Over all I had a great experience and being able to camp and be outside was wonderful. I have learned that Colorado is just too populated especially after living in Wyoming where you can go anywhere and be like the only people around. I also got to get to know Jay more about how he is away from our comforts of home and were able to work out some kinks, which has made me love and care for him much more. J

Wyoming and Guns

I just read my post from last September about shooting guns for the 1st time it's pretty hilarious. As my boyfriend stated, "I have matured nicely." I have now evolved to where Jay and I ride around in this truck and there is HUGH rifle laying next to me and I don't even blink about it. ALSO, I am a proud owner of my very own gun. It's is a Taurus 22 Revolver. Which a nice little handgun. I don't really like handguns that much but I really enjoy mine for some reason. It doesn't have the kick as some of the bigger more powerful gun. I still obviously has the respect and safety towards any gun and I still really don't like shooting the big powerful ones but not as scared as I was 8-9 months ago.

The only hunting I have really experienced is turkey hunting in April where we did find 2 turkeys but missed both times. There is plenty of mounted animal head I see everywhere or the coyote carcasses in the back of the truck at Starbucks. Yea I know classy :).

The next step is to take a hunter safety course so I can go hunting or have a concealed license permit.

Yea Yea I know what happened to that Liberal Denver Girl. Wyoming just does things to you here. PLUS there really is nothing else to do~!

A mixture of things

My boyfriend has been in Fort Worth, Texas the last 2 weeks and it sucks! I have been pretty lonely lately and pretty much have been lying in my bed on my days off. 1^st the weather has not been helpful it has been crappy and rainy the last week making it hard to do anything outside PLUS my room mate moved out who owned the 42inch plasma and the furniture so I forced to my bed really the only place to sit. But I’m buying a couch from my neighbor so that will be resolved so just now need a TV J . So the only problem with having like no furniture the cost of everything cuts into my JEEP fund that seems like every month is getting used for other things.

I am going to visit him Jun 3-6^th and looking forward to my little trip it will be nice to go some place for a bit, plus I’ll get to see my BF J. I do have a new roommate moving in this week and hopefully that all works out no problem. I did see her place and it looked like a tornado hit the place, but she claimed that I was just because of moving so hopefully that is true.

What else is new in my life….well it has been a year since I graduated from nursing school. And they were right when they said that it would fly by. I’m very much use to my job but still learning something new everyday.

This summer I’m also growing a garden that will keep me busy. I’m looking forward to real tomatoes (Wyoming has the worst fruit/vegetable selection) and the challenge of the growing season up here. I’m going to plant carrots, spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, squash and zucchini.

Maybe with all my spare time I can write here more.

The adventures of Moab

So a couple weekends ago Jay and I went to Moab, UT. I have wanted to visit this place for a while now so the opportunity came up and we decided to go. Besides the 8-hour drive each way it was a pretty good little trip. The first day we arrived Jay and I did some easy 4x4 trails in his truck and became more amazed by the beauty of the area. We did a couple trails that had great views. At the beginning of the trail there was break off to another trail that lead us to a “Surprise Overlook” and man was it a surprise! I haven’t see canyons like that ever before. Essentially you can walk right up to the edge and really test my fear of heights and falling. While Jay would climb and jump everywhere on the rocks which made me nervous about his safety. Next we went to the Gemini Bridges that amazing to have these natural bridge formations that are huge. Afterwards, we did the Long Canyon trail that was again spectular views were we drove down this long narrow trail seeing all the rocks that have slide off the side of the mountain and wondering to myself that we don’t have bad luck.

After the morning of driving around, Jay decided to test my endurance and athletic abilities by taking me on a bike trail called Slick Rock. And yep, it is just how it sounds. I think I probably walked 2/3’s the trail and the other 1/3 worrying about flying over the handlebars and breaking both my wrists. The rock was so slick and steep I would both my front and back breaks on my mountain bike and I would continue to slide forward without stopping. We just did the practice trail that was like 3 miles and I was worn out by the end. Definitely a workout!

We decided that camping would be the easiest and cheapest way to stay. It was a little chilly but nothing unbearable that required me to go sleep in the Truck for the night J. For the next day Jay rented a 4-door Jeep Rubicon for more difficult trails for us to adventure out on (yes I know I have such a great boyfriend), plus this was a good way to see if this really is the new vehicle I want and what I can do with it besides driving around town. After buying camping wood that really made Jay mad and picking up the jeep, we relaxed cooked dinner and ate somores.

The next morning after Jay and I’s Starbucks fix we were off and did a trail called Spring Canyon Bottom that again had spectacular views that lead us down this long steep descent to the bottom of the canyon where there is just enough room for the jeep and then a nice long drop to the bottom. Lucky we didn’t run into any other vehicles coming up. When we made it to the bottom of the canyon we drove on a more difficult trail called Hey Joe Canyon that lead us along the Green Rive and over some pretty tough truane with large rocks and narrow areas to fit this rented jeep through that we don’t want to pay for damages J we didn’t make it to the end because there was a large rock slide across the trail and we weren’t able to make it over so we decided to turn back see what other adventures we can discover. After a long trip back up the canyon and almost colliding with so motorcycles coming around a sharp turn we next went on another trail called Mineral Point that lead us to top of the Green River with more breathe taking views and me being worried about Jay falling over. I’m so glad Jay decided to rent the jeep we were able to go places that wouldn’t have been to originally with the truck.

After like 6 hours of driving and 135 miles on the jeep we deicide maybe we should walk around downtown Moab and get diner. We went to an Italian restaurant called: Yep, Jay’s Pasta. And yes, Jay picked the place. After eating like 3000 calories with just dinner we went back to camp and stumbled upon our tent and sleeping bag covered with the red sand that was EVERYWHERE. It’s like being at the beach but without the luxury of the ocean. The red sand got in everything and it was so fine it came from the screen on the tent and it was particularly windy that night and every time the wind would blow it would rain sand in our eyes, mouth nose and ears it was everywhere! The next morning we were going to go hiking but got a late start and decided that it would probably be best to get a head start on the way home.

All in all it was a wonderful little trip wish we could have stayed longer and experienced more but there is so much more to experience in the area. And I want to say thank you to the Guide to Moab, UT trails book that we have it was quite useful with discovering the beauty of Moab!